Boy do I love Fridays. No work for the next two days, after taking orders from the man all week. I saw something interesting this past week and I thought I’d do some sharing. After reading Walks’ humurous article about the disgusting nature of most public men’s washrooms, it showed how disgusting men can be sometimes. Well alot of the time actually. Now I’m not going to go ahead and say my personal bathroom is fit for a queen to pop a squat on, but I’ve seen worse. There have been many a sea creatures bathrooms that I even refused to use. Just plain nasty. However, on Monday afternoon, I witnessed something more grotesque than little black curly friends hanging out on someones bowl. After leaving the office to head back home for lunch at around noon, I turned the corner into Royal Oaks behind a small car with two young females driving it. As we were about to make the last turn into the subdivision, the car made a drastic left turn (the only turn you can make is right) and pulled over to the side of the road. As I turned right past the car I glanced into my rearview mirror to see what the hell was going on with that car. It was then that I witnessed the horror. The young girl driving shot out of the vehicle, walked a half step to the front of the car, whipped down her pants, and began urinating. Now, I know when nature calls, nature calls, and there’s not much you can do about it. I’d be a liar if I said I’ve never relieved myself on the side of a road before. But never a road in the middle of town in broad daylight! I’m actually not sure what was funnier, her doing that, or her failing to realize that I could see her mark her territory in the middle of the street. Either way, as much as girls want to say that guys are disgusting, girls are humans too. Just because they don’t poop doesn’t make them any less accountable for their actions.
Now, back to the glory that is the weekend. So little to do, so much time. Isn’t that the truth about Grande Prairie. At least this weekend it will be easier to take my mind of the fact that I still live here. With UFC111 happening saturday night, as well as new episodes of both Departures and The Pacific airing, my time will be filled quite nicely. Take it easy Friday, probably go to the gym, then party time Saturday and recooperate on Sunday with copious amounts of TV and movies.
There hasn’t been a good UFC card in the last little while so I am looking forward to what this next one has to offer. With Georges St Pierre defending his title against Dan “The Outlaw” Hardy, and Frank Mir going toe to toe with Shane Carwin for the interim Heavywight belt, this one shouldn’t be a disappointment. Not like the battle for the seniors belt that took place last month. This will likely prove to be GSP’s toughest opponent thus far, as Hardy has explosive hands with devastating knockout power. Hardy is also undefeated in the UFC, so will be looking to continue that streak. But from what I have seen in the last few weeks leading up, as far as training goes, there is no way GSP is going to lose. The man is finely tuned athletic machine, and boasts the best take down and ground game in mma. My bet goes to Canada’s favorite mixed martial artist, St Pierre winning by submission. The next headline on the card will put two mammoths for men against each other, in what will likely turn into an all out brawl. I can’t see the Carwin Mir fight going the full five rounds, and I’m picking Carwin to take the temporary belt with a TKO in either the second or third round. There should be a few pretty good undercard fights as well, as there are a couple guys making their UFC debuts who will be looking to stick around. The fights are at 8 on Saturday and what is better than watching 2 guys legally beat the crap out of each other?
Another thing that has put me in a good mood as of late is the recent sliding of the gayest hockey team in Alberta. Thats right, the Flames. With the Oilers all but locking up the first overall pick weeks ago, I conceded the shitty season in place of a #1 overall pick. (It’s gonna be Seguin, just watch) Now Flames fans on the other hand, will have to watch their team do what we Oil fans have done for oh so long. The Flames will win a couple more games, but probably end up finishing ninth behind the Red Wings, just missing the playoffs. What a sweet end to the season that will be. And to make matters even more hilarious, is that the Flames did it to themselves. They did it by trading players to become the Western Conference Leafs, and picking up the sixth d-man from the worst team in the league. Hats off to the Flames for making this year so much better for me. As long as Calgary continues their woes on the road, I feel confident I won’t be eating my words come playoff time, and the Flames will be on the outside looking in, with a mid round first pick.
Well, the NHL playoffs are on the verge, spring training is almost wrapped up to give way to the regular season in baseball, and I’m going to Phoenix. Thats right. Phoeeeeeeeeeeeeeenix. Golf, hockey and baseball, the holy trinity. I’m sure that after the trip is all wrapped up, there will be stories, pictures and videos to share with you all of our trip in the desert. Lets hope I don’t lose too many balls in the sand. Just make sure while we’re gone you don’t stick your bonjourno into any arribadercis that we wouldn’t. Neely the Seas Bass out.
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